The Dilemma of Being Happy

The Dilemma of Being Happy 

I was having a conversation the other day and there was a concept we talked about that spurred this article.  It was my response to a question about where I am on my journey.  I said something to the effect of, I’m content but not satisfied.  She started writing it down and I think she said something that is a good point.  

I often joke that I need to start recording all of my conversations. This is because people often come back to me and say, "I remember when you said this thing, and it really helped me." But the truth is, I rarely remember saying it.

In fact, one time, I had someone say something to me, and I responded, "Oh, that's good." They started laughing and said, "Of course you would think something you said was good." I played it off, but I was actually embarrassed. I didn't even remember saying it!

I have very few canned responses.  Most of my responses are based on the moment. Writing and posting articles and journaling has allowed me to capture more of my thoughts and reflect on them. I need to work on being more present and engaged in conversations, so that I can actually remember what I say.

Here is the question: Is It possible to be happy and unsatisfied at the same time? 

My answer is without a doubt yes.  In fact, I believe it is essential to be both in order to live a truly fulfilling life. Needless to say, this time I made notes of it myself and decided to write this article.

Being content means being at peace with your current situation. Unsatisfaction, on the other hand, is a state of wanting more. It is often associated with feelings of ambition, drive, and motivation.

I have aspirations, dreams, and goals. I want to create generational wealth and teach others how to do the same.  I’ve talked about my reasons in other articles, I will not go into that here.  But it is what drives me. It is a part of my purpose.  To live and help others lead a healthy, wealthy, and wise life. Hard to fully do that if you are not wealthy as well.

At the same time, I’m at peace. I’m enjoying life to the fullest. I’m spending time with the people I love.  I’m upgrading my village. I’m working towards and seeing evidence that I’m getting closer to my goals.

I’ve come a long way in the last year and that makes me happy. The relationships I want to keep are getting stronger.  I’m building new relationships and I’ve never felt closer to living in my purpose than I feel right now.

And…. I still want more…. I want more of the Freedoms:

• TIme

• Financial

• Mental

• Location

• Purpose

• Relationship 

I have work to do in all areas. 

Here are some practices I use to increase my Happiness while being unsatisfied.  By the way, I think being unsatisfied is a terminal condition for me.  Maybe chronic is a better word.  It is something I will have until my last breath.  Side note: I’ve said this often over the years to my wife. I wish I could be normal and be satisfied with what I have.  I will just say, when you find the right tribe you will learn that wanting more is normal, too.  I did have to learn how to be content and enjoy the process as much as the destination.

Practice Gratitude:

Complete Game changer for me. Our brain is the ultimate hardware ready for programming.  When you start training your brain to find the good in your day.  It works hard to learn how to find more good, more easily.  

Another side note:  When I had a big team in the corporate world, in our weekly meetings, I would have each team member provide good news at the beginning of the meeting.  It could be business or personal….  At the beginning, the anguish on people’s faces trying to find something good to report. After sometime, even on the worst of days, good news was easy to identify.  I had a team member lose a close relative. Even in his moment of grief, he was able to find gratitude in the moments he shared with his mother in law. That day he shared with us great stories of the fun they had together.  Apparently, she was a master prankster.  Gratitude also sticks with you.  It has been about 4 years since that meeting and I still feel the joy he felt while telling his stories.

Have a Big Hairy Audacious Goals: BHAG

Does making it through the week make you excited about getting up in the morning? What about creating a financial and mental legacy that gives your grandchildren the opportunity to spend their entire lives living in their purpose? 

Have a dream or Why big enough, you can’t wait to get to sleep to get up in the morning to pursue it.

Be Bold and Dream Big!

Live in the Gain not the Gap:

This concept is from the book The Gap and The Gain by Benjamin Hardy and Dan Sullivan. In the book, the authors argue that we should focus on our progress, not our ideal. When we measure ourselves against our previous selves, we can see the gains we have made and experience the happiness, confidence, and satisfaction that come from achieving. This, in turn, motivates us to pursue new goals and ultimately become more successful.

Comparing yourself to others is like punishing yourself for something you didn't do. You don't know their full journey, their struggles, or what they've been through. So, comparing yourself to them is unfair and unrealistic. 

A better way to compare yourself is to compare your current self to your past self. This will help you see how far you've come and how much you've grown. It will also help you focus on your own journey and not on the journeys of others.

 As my new friend said, "The person I was 6 years ago would not even recognize who I am today." She had all the boxes checked, but she wasn't content or satisfied. She had to go through a lot of personal growth and change to get to where she is now. The only comparison that matters is your current self to your future self.

Instead of comparing yourself to others, focus on being the best version of yourself that you can be. Strive to improve yourself, but don't worry about what other people are doing. Just focus on your own journey and your own goals.

I will also point out.  I did not completely buy into all of these practices before I tried them. most of it seemed flat out weird to me. I didn’t think they would work.  These may not be the items that get you over the hump.  But they are life changing for me. 

Borrow from what worked for me or try something else. The main thing is if you are not happy…  Do Something About It!

Until Next Time…